I'm not a Jersey Cow.

Breastfeeding. No one tells you how difficult and what a struggle breastfeeding can be. I'm pretty sure several of my friends told me to take a breastfeeding class while I was still pregnant, but I thought, "It's breastfeeding...how hard can it be?"

Um, yeah...it has been one of the most difficult challenges I've faced since having Archer. It's not that it's literally "hard" to do, but when you tend to internalize things because you're still emotional from being pregnant (me), breastfeeding becomes like climbing Mount Everest, one h*ll of a challenge. My biggest fear and frustration is that I'm not producing enough milk. I've read lots of stuff online, and the bottom line is that every woman is different - some women have problems with oversupply, some women produce just enough, and some women struggle with producing enough. From what I've read, not producing enough milk is very rare, but I struggle, emotionally (mostly) and physically with producing milk. There is nothing more frustrating and at the same time heartbreaking, than seeing your baby cry and fuss while nursing because he's not getting anything.

It has taken me weeks of prayer, reading, and talking to friends to not feel guilty about supplementing Archer with formula, but I finally decided that if I need to supplement with formula, then I need to supplement. I was talking with a nice woman at swim classes recently, and I asked her how much she was able to pump (her son was born about the same time Archer was born), and she said, "I'm like a jersey cow." Immediately, I knew she didn't have problems with a low supply. However, she did tell me that your supply can fluxuate and to stick with it. I really appreciated her honesty and sharing with me.

Well, I'm not a jersey cow, but I'm not giving up either! I realize now I should have started pumping immediately to help jump start my supply, but there were so many things I just didn't know to do. I'm very grateful to Rebecca S. and Christina K. for telling me about Fenugreek - it has helped so much!! That said, I'm still nursing and pumping, supplementing when necessary, and I'm doing my best not to get discouraged. I'm just so thankful for this experience "...rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4

I have Hope!