A Little Naïve About Pregnancy

Those of you that know me know that I'm pretty comfortable sharing stuff about myself. However, beleive it or not, I'm a very private person, especially when it comes to bodily fluids and functions. You can laugh, but it's totally true.

Growing up, I was taught that ladies were supposed to be polite and modest. For example, a lady should never go to bed "uncovered."

Growing up, my Grandma and my Mother always made sure I was tucked into bed and covered with a sheet and/or comforter when I went to bed because it wasn't lady-like not to at least have a sheet over you. Even if I was really hot and to the point of sweating at night, I was always covered with a sheet. If I was really, really hot, then it was okay to stick a leg out. (Note:  I'm not sure why one leg was okay and two legs weren't, but whatever... I took this to heart.) To this day, I have to sleep with at least a sheet over me, or I don't feel comfortable. Although, I'm okay with two feet out sticking out. hehe..

Needless to say, this modesty also carried over into other areas, specifically those of the bathroom variety. Going to the bathroom was either number one or number two. If there was a problem, then number one or number two could be discussed in private or in hushed tones out of the ear shot of those passing by. I'm sure I embarrased my parents in the bathroom many times before they trained me on the whole "number one/number two" thing, but the point is, this bathroom modesty stuck with me.

I share these stories to illustrate how scary being pregnant is for me. It's hard to be modest when you're pregnant! Of course, I knew this going in, but I didn't really know what was in store for me until my friend, Alicia J., gave me the book Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth by Jenny McCarthy.

OMG.

OMG!

McCarthy's book is full of information -- the good, the bad, and the ugly of pregnancy and childbirth. The book is a quick read and it is really funny at times, but whoa! I was totally blown away by some of her stories. I just had no idea - I was a little naïve about pregnancy. I think I had being pregnant on this perfect and beautiful little shelf where everything was wonderous and magical.

Pregnancy is certainly a miracle, one I feel very blessed to experience, but clearly, I had a lot of misconceptions.

Good thing McCarthy was not shy about sharing, I mean, really sharing! Honestly, that was probably really good for me because it made me feel more comfortable with the changes that were taking place inside my own body, and it made me less self-conscience about asking my doctor questions that I felt were embarrassing or uncomfortable. I'm still learning all of the terrifying  things that can happen to a woman during pregnancy and childbirth, and I'm scared and still a little embarrassed talking to my doctor sometimes, but then I think...the hardest questions to ask are the ones that really need asking.

Whether you're a Mom, a soon-to-be-Mom, or thinking about Mommy-hood, McCarthy's book is worth the read.The chapters that really caught my attention, surprised me, or freaked me out are as follow:

Niagra in my pants
Passing Stonehenge
Freddie Krueger ain't got nothing on me
Is that an apple on your rectum, or are you just happy to see me?
Did a sewer tank explode, or did you just fart?
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! I'll take another one of those, please!
Mirror, mirror on the wall, Who's the prettiest pregnant lady of them all? Clearly not you lady!
That ain't my a**!
Poopin' on the table
The blue twinkies
Pig in the pasture

Okay, those mark the big ones for me, and I'm sure you can guess what some of the chapters discuss -- I won't go into detail, but I will give you a quick list of my pregnancy lessons learned:

1. Your skin will change. Acne, eczema, & other things you don't expect may occur in unlikely places. Boo!
2. Your nails will change. For me, that meant fast growing, strong nails! Cool, never had that before!
3. Your hair will change. For me, that meant oily hair :(
4. Your period will go away (duh!), other fluids will visit. Ew.
5. You will feel the baby move...eventually. The best description is from my friend Tree:  "It feels like someone is lightly blinking their eyelashes against your skin, but on the inside." I loved that description!
6. You will feel heavy -- even in the beginning. It's strange, but your core feels different.
7. You will feel fat -- even in the beginning. (Sing:  "Hello bloating my old friend...") The best description is from my Dad-in-law:  "There is nothing more beautiful than a woman all swelled up and pregnant." This made me laugh & want to cry, but in a good way! So sweet!
8. Your ears will hurt from always laying on your sides to sleep.

Despite all of the changes, all of the insecurities, and all of the fear, there is nothing like seeing a sonogram of the precious baby growing inside of you...

Baby Washburn -- 18 weeks, 2 days