Jersey Cow Update

Since some people have been asking, and I'm still a little sensitive, I decided to do an update on my breastfeeding (BF) adventures. So here goes...

A few weeks before Archer's 2 month doctor visit, we decided that we needed to start supplementing with formula because Archer wasn't gaining much weight. It's like he'd reached a plateau. He wasn't much more than 8-8.5 lbs. (birth weight = 7 lbs. 4 oz.), and I was frustrated because Archer was so fussy. He was hungry all the time (ie. hands in mouth & wouldn't take a pacifier), but he just struggled with BF - yanking, pulling, popping off. It was like he would get milk in the beginning, and then as soon as it stopped he would just turn into "Angry Archer." This was awful for me. I knew he was hungry, but no matter how often or how long I nursed, or how much I pumped during the day, it just wasn't enough. (And yes, I was OD-ing on Fenugreek, which kind of made me queasy after months of use.) What was worse is that even though I said I was okay with supplementing, I wasn't. In my heart of hearts, it made me feel inadequate...like I was letting my son and my husband down.

On top of that, I didn't feel like I could leave my house. What if Archer had a meltdown while we were at the grocery store or in a restaurant, or some other public place? What if I couldn't satisfy him with BF? Would I have to leave the store or where ever and run to the sanctity of our house? Would Archer cry all the way home from where ever we were at? These were the questions that constantly ran through my mind and were really stressing me out.

When Archer's 2 month check up finally came around, I was nervous. What would our pediatrician say about Archer's weight gain or lack there of? What would she say about our decision to formula supplement? I held a confident exterior, but inside, I was fragile and ready to burst into tears. Fortunately, our pediatrician is incredibly sympathetic and encouraging. She told me that the bottom line was that Archer needed to gain weight and thrive, and she said I needed to do what was best for me and for Archer. So if that meant we needed to use more formula, then that's OK.

I never thought I'd be so emotional over something so seemingly simple, and yet I am. I'm not sure what my turning point was, but after much prayer and discussion with Aaron, we finally decided to go ahead wind down the BF and move to formula. You may think I am weak or that I gave up too soon, and maybe you're right, but there is nothing more glorious for me than seeing our little guy full and happy! By the way, Archer is almost 3 months now, and he's over 11 lbs!! (Many thanks to Laura H. for the baby scale!! It has helped so much!!)

I am ever grateful for being able to BF my son for the last 3 months, and as much as I wish I could have done it longer, I am just thankful for what God gave me.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19